Words by Dionysis Nanos
Arguably anyone knows the Nissan Qashqai. Even if you don’t want to know they’re everywhere...literally everywhere. You can’t go two yards without seeing at least three of the damn things in either black, white, grey or the occasional funky blue, and it just makes me gasp at the boredom of this dishwasher with wheels. See, there are a whole lot of problems with the Nissan Qumkuat or whatever and the looks are not even an important one.
First of all, in case you’ve lived under a rock and you have no idea what the Nissan Qashqai is (trust me that’s a rock worth living under), it’s the first of the breed of cars that have become the de facto sight on our roads known as SUVs or as soccer-mom-and-dad-ego-boosters. Launched in 2007 it got facelifted in 2010 with the second generation (pictured above) being launched in 2013, which on its own got a facelift in 2017, which also saw the launch of the Qashqai as the Rogue Sport in the US. Apparently, the marketing department of Nissan USA is either seeing “Sport” where I can’t, or they were afraid the American public wouldn’t be able to say the word “Qashqai”… Anyway, back to the car. Or the washing machine or whatever this is.
The original, pre-facelift Qashqai
It’s not hard to see why people keep buying them. They’re not that big nor too small, they’re not ugly but not good looking either. They’re just things with wheels and relatively high ride height so the soccer moms and dads of this world can feel good about themselves while waiting for the light to go green. But they are dull, and yes I know there are dull cars out there like the Mitsubishi Mirage or the Toyota Corolla, but you’re forgetting one small detail. These boring cars are at least reliable, which brings me to the next problem…
Nissan's are not built properly. If you don’t know anything about cars and go by what you hear, mostly by old folk with 25-year-old Nissan Primeras or Almeras with two hundred thousand miles, you’ll think Nissan makes amazing cars. No, remove that thought from your brain as quickly as you fell for your secondary school crush in Year 10.
First of all, and that’s not only for the Qashqai, ever since Nissan went buddy buddy with Renault in the late 90s the quality has been going further down the drain by the year. Automatic transmission problems, trim pieces falling off and engines burning more oil than a fire in the Middle East are just some of the many issues the cars have. Yet the word of mouth and ignorance means Nissan has somehow managed to keep that reputation which is a bigger lie than the kill count of Wild Bill Hickok (if you don’t know him Google him, trust me). On the other hand Toyota, even though they had problems of their own, haven’t fallen so low as far as reliability is concerned.
The interior of the Qashqai. Again, not ugly but you’re not going to fall in love with it either.
The Qashqai then. The original tall hatchback that’s built with parts and knowledge of a wonky French car maker and bought by the millions by unimaginative individuals that coast through life and work until they’re retired and waiting to die. In short, the Qashqai is indeed a doormat. No matter if it’s cheap or expensive you barely notice it when you walk inside your house, and even if you do, you glance at it and move on with whatever it is you do. Now what car was I talking about again?